As you all know, i love a good guest post, especially one that’s as funny and truthful as this! If this is right up your street, then why not check out Helena Pugsley’s blog for yourself.
I usually start with the “keep mentioning it to get them used to the idea” tactic for a few weeks first. Usually met with much resistance. Then I break out the “you can have whatever treat you want” bribery mode. Also usually a total fails and I still end up having to give him treats as I’ve upset him so much with my evil promises of a hair cut that it is the only way to get peace restored. This time I even tried the “your hair will get so long and knotty you will get it caught and it will really hurt” threat mode. This was met with much protesting that getting his hair cut “hurts”. Proper little Samson I have on my hands. Today I finally resorted to a combination of all three plus telling him it WAS happening today either nicely at the shop with all the aforementioned treats OR Daddy would break out the noisy clippers at home and do it. So I somehow managed to actually get him into the shop accompanied by the biggest bag of jelly snake sweets known to man and a promise that he could sit on my lap and he didn’t have to wear the cape.
So then comes the second challenge… given that I have got him into a shop aimed at cutting kids hair I don’t expect their sign to mean “His and only well behaved kids who love getting their hair cut and will sit quietly like little angels.” I explain to the lady that he is a little nervous (haha) and that it has taken a big bribe to even get him there and therefore please can he sit on my lap. You would think I had asked her to cut his hair while we pole danced naked or something. She immediately changed into “the dragon lady” (his words not mine) and started to say she couldn’t possibly do that as she had had (not got) pleurisy (wtf has that got to do with anything here?). I explained again nice and politely that it had taken a lot to even get him in the door and this was the ONLY way this was going to work, and I would hold him however she needed so she could reach him just as easily. So her next tactic was to threaten me saying “well I won’t be able to cut it properly so he will look stupid”. (Seriously!) But there was no way on earth I was leaving after the effort it had taken to get to this point so I reluctantly agreed to have a “stupid looking” kid.
So yes he ducked a few times and protested that it “hurt” the whole way through, but there was a distinct lack of tears or blood so I think we got off lightly. She delighted in telling us about a little angel who had sat so wonderfully for her earlier, and how both Isaac and another little girl, she had in today, had not (which at least made me feel better that I wasn’t alone) and I (somewhat reluctantly after she was such a moody cow) paid the fortune it cost to “the dragon” for my “stupid looking” kid’s haircut and marched him out of the shop with yet another treat. It was definitely time for a cup of tea (surely!) but no I then had to spend 20 minutes picking cut hair off a giant bag of jelly snakes. Roll on the next 2…3…or can I stretch it out to maybe 4 months time?!