If the media are to be believed, then there are only two types of mum is this world.
Yummy Mummy likes to look rad, cook organic food and have her kids in a very strict routine. Slummy Mummy is a bit of a rebel. Slummy Mummy swears openly, drinks like a fish and reads her phone while her kids are running riot at baby group.
Yummy and Slummy are so opposite, that they sit outside of each other’s houses with pitchforks and mean banners to try and put each other off. (Not really.)
But what happened to Middling Mummy? You know the one. Middling Mummy who openly admits that she doesn’t bath her kids every night and lets them get away with having an extra biscuit at bedtime.
Middling Mummy doesn’t want to be a Yummy Mummy but doesn’t hate her either. Yummy Mummy is the one that reminds her that there’s an insert day at preschool and that Sainsbury’s toy sale starts next week. How can anyone not like that?
Middling Mummy gets why Yummy Mummy likes to keep her house like a show home and (heaven forbid) wear make-up every day. She wishes she could handle that, but after just four hours sleep most nights, she really can’t be fucked.
Middling Mummy likes Slummy Mummy too, because, let’s be honest, having a mummy to share a drink with and who just “gets” how bloody hard this parenting malarkey is, is well, kinda cool.
Middling Mum may buy shop bought birthday cakes and wear ten-year-old purple dressing gowns, but she also sits and does craft shit with her kids, even though she can’t stand it. She laughs at the same fucking joke her three-year-old has told her a thousand times and is happy to read the same bedtime story night in and out lovingly knowing that a nice cold glass of white is waiting for her downstairs as her payment.
She wishes she could play as enthusiastically as Yummy Mummy and couldn’t care less like Slummy Mummy, but she can’t.
All she can do is try her best and hope that that is enough. Or not.
So surely there’s room for three types of mums? Somewhere for the “I’m a good person but can’t be bothered today” mum or the “I’m fab at most stuff but crap at other stuff” mum.
Being a Middling Mum who has a potty mouth and an aversion to the dishwasher doesn’t make you a crap parent. Like Yummy and Slummy, it just makes you normal, in your own kind of way.
So let’s give these labels the boot, and just BE mums.