Yummy vs Slummy: A Normal Mums Demise

If the media are to be believed, then there are only two types of mum is this world.

Yummy…..

 

and Slummy.

Yummy Mummy likes to look rad, cook organic food and have her kids in a very strict routine. Slummy Mummy is a bit of a rebel. Slummy Mummy swears openly, drinks like a fish and reads her phone while her kids are running riot at baby group.

Yummy and Slummy are so opposite, that they sit outside of each other’s houses with pitchforks and mean banners to try and put each other off. (Not really.)

But what happened to Middling Mummy? You know the one. Middling Mummy who openly admits that she doesn’t bath her kids every night and lets them get away with having an extra biscuit at bedtime.

Middling Mum who loves the fucking bones off her kids, even when they call Granny Dotty “poo poo face” and ask why she smells of cabbage.

Middling Mummy doesn’t want to be a Yummy Mummy but doesn’t hate her either. Yummy Mummy is the one that reminds her that there’s an insert day at preschool and that Sainsbury’s toy sale starts next week. How can anyone not like that?

Middling Mummy gets why Yummy Mummy likes to keep her house like a show home and (heaven forbid) wear make-up every day. She wishes she could handle that, but after just four hours sleep most nights, she really can’t be fucked.

Middling Mummy likes Slummy Mummy too, because, let’s be honest, having a mummy to share a drink with and who just “gets” how bloody hard this parenting malarkey is, is well, kinda cool.

Middling Mum may buy shop bought birthday cakes and wear ten-year-old purple dressing gowns, but she also sits and does craft shit with her kids, even though she can’t stand it. She laughs at the same fucking joke her three-year-old has told her a thousand times and is happy to read the same bedtime story night in and out lovingly knowing that a nice cold glass of white is waiting for her downstairs as her payment.

She wishes she could play as enthusiastically as Yummy Mummy and couldn’t care less like Slummy Mummy, but she can’t.

All she can do is try her best and hope that that is enough. Or not.

So surely there’s room for three types of mums? Somewhere for the “I’m a good person but can’t be bothered today” mum or the “I’m fab at most stuff but crap at other stuff” mum.

Being a Middling Mum who has a potty mouth and an aversion to the dishwasher doesn’t make you a crap parent. Like Yummy and Slummy, it just makes you normal, in your own kind of way.

So let’s give these labels the boot, and just BE mums.

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100 comments

  1. Great to see another cartoonist blogging away. I know a truth about the Yummy mummies. From the horse’s mouth, a few of them get up at 5.30 to spend 2 hours putting on the slap and toning up their bodies to ‘keep’ the man!! WHAAAT?! Couldn’t be arsed to do this myself and where i live (in a village, if someone’s got some lippy on in the morning, people TALK. #KCACOLS

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  2. Oh the media have to pigeon hole mummies, can’t just be a normal sometimes I’m on top of my game mummy another day (usually when PMT takes hold) screaming banshee mummy ending the day with a glass of red. Hey just a normal mummy – am what I am. Love the post. #KCACOLS

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  3. I think removing the labels is a great idea too and there definitely is an aspect of each type of mum we can all relate to. Everyone has personality traits before children that seem to carry on into the kind of mum you tend to be, I’d love to be a glamorous mum who’s got her shit together but reality makes this impossible haha x #KCACOLS

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  4. I would like to say that you are very talented:D Labels sucks! Every Mummy should be herself and definitely we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others
    #KCACOLS

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  5. I’m not one for labels. Just do what you’ve got to do. Who cares what people think. As long as your kids are cared for and happy that’s all that matters!

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  6. haha completely brilliant! Love the pics and the descriptions, I am somewhere in the middle, and content being there lol. Love, totally LOVED this post #Kcacols

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  7. Ha another gem of a post!! I’ve tried to be yummy mummy – failed horrifically. I’m border slummy/middling… I also have the ten year old purple dressing gown which I will NEVER give up (its my bit of comfort) xx

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  8. Love this 🙂 Yep yummy mummy is deffo how I visualised myself pre-mummyhood after all how hard could it be after all I was also going to give birth to kids that would always do as they were told the first time, never answer back or even dare to challenge my parenting skills….yep so here I am now 4 kids later living the dream as a slummy & middle mummy! #nobullshit

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  9. I like to aim for yummy mummy, but truth be told… I can’t be arsed! I’d rather catch a sit down for 5 mins with a coffee than put make up on or straighten my hair! Scummy mummy for life!

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