When Mould Meets Family: A Birth Announcement

I’m very honoured and happy to announce our new arrival and addition to our family; black bathroom mould. As many of you know, I’m all for attachment parenting and believe that every single piece of mould deserves a prominent place in the household whether that be the kitchen tiles or the bedroom ceiling so it can feel loved and grow strong.

Attachment mould

Spraying and scrubbing is just mould abuse in my opinion.

My black mould was born after a long and drawn out labour in the bath. While conceived naturally, its birth was still a slight shock to The Hub who just didn’t see it coming.

Hub Confused

Above average in size, our dear mould spread quickly, due to daily shit filled baths by its older siblings and my bad attempts to shove a window open after one of The Hubs extended showers. I’d be lying if I said it looked out of place in my bathroom filled with the odd (ahem) cobweb and torn up toilet roll, but I love all my offspring, even the persistent ones.

Questions

The end of labour was the hardest. My new mould spent a few days behind closed doors before it was ready to join the family but we visited often and couldn’t be happier to have it home now.

We’re pretty sure that we have another bundle cooking already in the kitchen, but I’m confident that my new arrival and the older two will be just as excited and full of love while feeling no rivalry whatsoever.

My oldest two have already started scratching and poking their new sibling, so I know its now been fully accepted into our amazing family. I can honestly say that it brings a tear to my eye to see them playing so nicely together already.

Hitting each other

Please come over when you can to say hi to my new addition. I would really appreciate it and I know The Hub would too. It’s quite bulky though and squirms if held so if I get touchy about your prolonged cooing and fuss, I apologise. Like most new mums i think my new baby is fine, just the way it is.

Bringing a Shepherd’s pie and cake would be most welcome, as would bringing something to amuse the The Kid and The Baby, as I’m still recovering from labour and am too exhausted to do much right now. I’ll also take any offers of babysitting very seriously.

Gifts

If you bring a gift for the mould, please remember to bring something useful, like a bath toy it can grow into or extra bathroom sealant it can climb.

Please bear in mind that I plan to feed my new baby on demand, like I have my other two, so demands for me to put the fan on or open the bathroom door will be ignored.

Door shut

Oh, and yes I plan on co-sleeping when it gets bigger and drifts into our bedroom. I’m okay with that for now, and will sort out our shit sleeping arrangements when all three sleep through the night and play together safely for more than two minutes.

Co-Sleeping

Make sure you check out the cute selfies I plan to post soon of all of us together in our dimly lit bathroom. We’re sure to be the envy of the street.

 

*****

Wotcher all. This is a bashful plea to ask if you’d all vote for The Unsung Mum at this years mumsnet blogging awards ‘Blogfest’. I’ve never been to one of these but if I get enough votes I get an invite to sit and eat cake with some of the biggest bloggers in the UK. I can’t guarantee this little blog will win anything, but wouldn’t it be rad if I DID, and I had to actually give a speech…In front of real life people.

Awards2

Awkward!

Anyway, the link is below and please nominate me in the ‘Best Writer’ category with the answer: http://www.theunsungmum.com/

Link: https://docs.google.com/…/1FAIpQLSe9LHiCMnwR3Z003…/viewform…
(Don’t forget to share & a massive thank you from my sleep deprived heart to everyone who has already voted!)*****

Awards

 

 

 

Mummascribbles</div

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32 comments

  1. Lolololol!!! This is hilarious!! Thanks for getting my day off to a hysterical start!! The pictures are truly a work of genius, and I think you should write a whole book with them in (the wrecking ball was my personal favourite!) I fear we have several sets of mould octoplets in our bathroom, who appear to be able to multiply by themselves (unless of course they are an immaculate conception, which would be the only other option.) I too, blame my husband’s extended showers on their rapid multiplication-nobody needs half an hour in the shower every morning, it’s ridiculous. I wish you every happiness with your new addition-I hear mould babies lack the ability to speak, thus saving you from a third round of painfully inane questions-every cloud has a silver lining!!
    Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink!

    Like

  2. Brilliant – mould seems to follow us everywhere but it gets real bad on our bathroom ceilings (wherever we live it seems). IN serious talk – the Cillit Bang (I think it’s them) black mould remover is amazing! It actually keeps the mould at bay and when you see it starting to creep in, you can just blast it with a bit more. The other half may have some kind of chemical poisoning later in life from doing the whole ceiling but you know, we are mostly mould free! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Like

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